It is a hard fact that as an adult, you are probably going to spend over half of your life working. For that reason, it is important to not only find a career you enjoy going to every day but fill your off hours with activities that are not only meaningful for you, but for your family, community, and future generations.
One way to find your purpose is by making a list of the people, places, and activities that you are passionate about. Make a few comments by each one about how you feel when you are with them or engaging in the activity. Then write when the last time you communicated with the people who make you happy or engaged in your favorite activity. If you don’t remember when, why do you no longer engage with that person, place or activity? How have you felt since you stopped engaging?
Other activities to help you find your life purpose include:
- Reflecting on how you feel at the end of the day when you have not done
anything out of the ordinary. - Stop people pleasing- learn to say “NO”.
- Identify your values- if you value family time but have no family in the area, consider becoming a foster parent or host an international student.
- Be honest with yourself (and others). If you really don’t want to go to your significant other’s happy hour get together, say so. There is no need to be miserable and have that energy spread throughout the gathering. Be honest and explain that you will go to the next event.
- Take time for yourself- you can’t help others when your cup is empty. Self-care is not optional.
- Be thankful- when you wake up each morning and when you go to bed each night, look in the mirror and record on your phone or an external recorder telling yourself five things you are thankful for or write them in a journal.
- Make a vision board- having a visual of pictures cut out from magazines or printed off the internet with goals for different areas of your life can help you see where you want to be in the future.
- Help your community- volunteering in your community can not only make you feel better but make your community a better place for everyone and contribute to everyone’s well-being.
- Tell your story- not to brag, but to educate others. There is someone out the that needs to hear what you have to say. Whether it is a peer support group or writing about your experiences in an anthology or even a full autobiography, sharing your story can make you feel better and help someone else.
So why does any of this matter? Having a purpose in life reduces stress, depression, and anxiety and improves your mental well-being. As you age, a lack of purpose in life can speed up physical decline and increases your risk for Alzheimer’s disease. When you feel like your life has a purpose, you are able to create a work-life balance more easily.
If you have a blank piece of paper from the list activity above, it may be time to do an experiment. This time, make a list of all the things you have always wanted to do but “never had time for” or “can’t afford”. If you want to do something that requires skills you haven’t used in a while or need to learn, many community colleges offer low-cost adult education programs. Try integrating one or two of these into your life and see how you feel. Keeping a journal will help you track your mood and encourage you to try other new activities.
It is common to have different interests during different phases of life. Finding people in the same phase of life (new parent, retired, etc) can help you discover new friends, activities, and places to go.
Blue Lily’s online Life Coaching service can help you find a purpose in your life. If your coach thinks that there is an emotional or behavioral issue holding your progress back she can refer you for a more in-depth assessment in our online psychiatric program and continue working with you when you are ready to move forward.