At one time or another, everyone has heard the phrase “fake it until you make it”. There is actually science to this old wife’s tale, because repetition trains the brain and muscles to believe they can do it and develop muscle memory. Engaging in habits that help you build confidence also help you overcome the fear of failure. If you tell yourself you are happy enough times, soon, you will be happy.
Self-confidence and positive self-esteem are skills that take time to develop.
Here are some easy ways to become more confident in everything you do.
Write a daily affirmation and say it out loud:
Saying the same positive phrase each morning when you wake up sets the tone for your day. Post it on your mirror or above the coffee maker so it is one of the first things you see in the morning.
Start slowly:
If you do not work out regularly, start with walking to the closest street corner and back or do five squats. As it gets easier, walk to the corner twice or do ten squats.
Surround yourself with positive people who believe in you:
Even those with high levels of self-confidence sometimes need an external boost. Having at least one person you can call or text when the going gets tough can get you back on track.
Do something easy first:
When you have a big presentation, test, or other event, complete a few small tasks that need to be done that you are confident in doing. This will warm up your brain and self-confidence to be successful in your bigger, more difficult task.
Counteract negative comments:
When you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk or someone else is criticizing your performance, tell yourself at least three things you are good at.
Groom and get dressed daily:
This simple habit will make all the difference in the world. If you can tolerate it, shower with cold water to get your blood circulating, then put something on brightly colored and comfortable.
Journal:
Getting your feelings out on paper is a powerful way to look back and see how you overcame a similar situation previously. Use your journal to list what you are grateful for each morning and refer back to it throughout the day as needed.
Share your time and talents:
If you are particularly good at a specific skill, consider donating your time to teach someone who wants to learn the skill.
Learn a new skill:
If you have always wanted to try something but were afraid of failing just do it! Every expert at anything started as a beginner who made mistakes. Getting over your fear of failure by failing is the most surefire way to let practice make perfect.
Problem solve:
Once you figure out why something is not working for you, you can craft a plan that will work for you.
Positive self talk:
Telling yourself good things are coming your way will make good things happen. This can be done silently in your mind at any point during the day.
Do not compare yourself to others:
Social media is good at making even the most confident person feel like they are less than what they are when they see air brushed, AI enhanced, photos and only the “good times”. Remember that what you see online is not always an accurate representation of a person’s day-to-day life.
Celebrate small wins:
Did you finally finish reorganizing your closet or painting the spare bedroom? Treat yourself to a new outfit or go spend some time in your favorite park for the afternoon. The serotonin boost will encourage you to keep tackling your to-do list after your break.
Use your manners:
Hold the door open for the person behind you. Help someone who is having trouble carrying everything. Any time you do something for someone else without expectation of the favor being returned, it makes you feel worthy.
Keep good posture:
Standing tall not only makes you look more confident to others but helps you feel more confident because when you can fill your lungs with oxygen, your brain gets more oxygen, allowing you to think clearly and make positive decisions.
If you are struggling to develop self-confidence, the life coach at Blue Lily can help you craft a plan that works with your history, where you are currently, and where you want to be in the future. All appointments are remote, saving you time from traveling and allowing you to fit sessions into your busy schedule.